Cooking mama 3

28th March, 2010 was the most amazing, interesting, exciting and tired day for me and especially for my mom because it was the day to film "Cooking mama".

When everyone was not woke up but my mom already woke up at around 5am to prepare all the foods and sauces. I know that she was very stressful about the program, she woke up so early because of her responsible attitude but also she couldn't sleep very well. Every time when I think about it, I always feel sorry to her because it seems we keep pushing her to do something she really doesn't like to do, but at that time I knew that we must move on, there was no return path, we can only try our best to have a "good show".

At about 10am, we had our first shot in Wan Chai market. Acutally not "we" because this part was just focusing on my mom and auntie, I had nothing to do actually. After introducing the MC to us then they had to act already. I saw my mom had a big breath and serious face every time when the camera was not recording, but after the director taught her how to do she could immediately follow with non-stop information. I was quite sure that she was still frighten inside because we are in the same family tree, we both can't get used to some new situation. But what made her so confident in front of the camera this time I think is about she really well-known on any kind of foods, she has sooo many information deep inside her mind for back up. When someone asked her about it she just explained to everyone as a machine-gun. It reminds me that the iceberg theory, you never know how big of the iceberg underneath the water level.

At about 12am, we back home and started taking another shot immediately. Because totally we had 5 dishes to film and every dish needs certain step to explain, time was always to big concern for us. The show must be completed before 9pm or earlier definitely, because we told my dad that my auntie's colleagues will come over to our house for party and he had to leave home from 9am to 9pm. This is actually a lie and we don't want to have another lie to break the promise, therefore we must finish it at 9pm. At the beginning was fine, my mom, my auntie and I were acting nicely and confidently, but after 6pm we were so worried about the progress because there was still have 2 dishes to go and some individual intereviews to do with her colleagues. Suddenly my mom received a call from my dad asking when he can come back and after she said 9pm my dad was kind of complaining about it. At that time, her face was changed. There was no more nervous on her face but only cold-iron face and turbo engine inside just wanted to make it done as soon as possible. After talking with the director and supervisior, we did speed it up and completed it at 850pm, with 10mins earlier. And my dad luckily back to home at 925pm, therefore everything still in perfect match.

Everthing was come fast, left fast like a storm. I didn't really have any happiness after completed the show because we were all exhausted. We didn't really have extra energy to make my face up to have a smiling face, but I knew that all the unique, amazing, fantastic memories already keep inside our heart.

At the beginning I think this is just a easy game for us to play and learn, but right now I know that this is not a easy task, we had to contribute a lot on this show. Thank you so much to my mom's colleagues, they had to wait for 5 hours for dinner but actually can't really eat at all. Thank you so much to my auntie Mukda who come over from Thailand to support my mom. Thank you so much to my mom to show me that what is the real tough woman should be. Before I thought that this was a program to teach her how to release pressure, but I think the program teachs me more than she does.

鍥而舍之，朽木不折；鍥而不舍，金石可鏤。

Hope everything all right...

Cooking mama 2

During the month without income, I think I really learned a lot and thought a lot and re-constructed my mind a lot. I understood what I have to do now and trusted what I am believing. In the past I was very hesitated to make decision for myself, no matter how tiny it is. Therefore opinions from friends or relatives are really important to me, everything I need an evidence to support. Of course, this is the general theory for everyone to make an low risk decision. But, on the other hand, this is also the low profit decision. People has confident opinions because the idea is not common anymore. They have experience on the pros and cons, so they can advice to me objectively.

I always think that I am pretty smart to solve any problem around my life. Because I am a project engineer, I have to deal with them every single day. But the more I have seen, the more I feel I am still not the perfect one. I am over enjoyed to stay in my own world, I just knew that my own world is too small compare with the real world. There are still too many things I need to catch up in hurry.

It reminds me a saying, "If you do what you always do, you will get what you always get." It is so necessary at this moment in my situation. Because I can already feel the bottleneck in both of my life and career. If I am not going to change it, I can foresee it just can't be changed anymore in a decreasing slope. During these 4 years project engineer life I am not just being a money-slave, I think the most important I have learned is "planning". Eventhough I know that I am standing at a downward situation, I already planned what I need to do next. I won't let myself stand at a bad situation with empty resource. Therefore, this is the time to allocate my resource to do "what I am NOT always do".

Back to the starting point, I am always relied on people opinions or evidences to solve my problem. How to find my own opinion and evidence to support myself is another level. From the project of "cooking mama", my mom was very reluctant to do at the beginning but now she is intend to do, I think she is a really great model to show me that how to do "what I am NOT always do". There is no about profit and loss in our life actually, everything if we did try our best to do, everything is a profit. Of course before making decision we need to think carefully, but we have to classify what is subjective think and what is objective think. Subjective think can only slow down our gain, but objective think can always generate profit.

"Cooking mama" is just a milestone, model, theory whatever to me, how to develop our path still depend on how we make our own decision in the future.

Headache

Life is not easy to control or should I just follow the path from my life?

Headache as usual...

Cooking mama 1

From the first day I applied for NOW-tv until now, there is around 2 months. During these 2 months I didn't try too much to persuade my mom to work on it because I understand that my conversation skill must be banned. I tried to go another big round loop to hit her starting from her sisters and colleagues. At the beginning, she is super rejected. No matter what we were trying to say she also thought that we were forcing her to do something she didn't like to do. So most of her colleagues even myself had already given up on this project because didn't want her to suffer extra unnecessary pressure. But there is one person, her youngest sister, Mukda, she kept saying that, "Don't give up, when the time passing by, I feel your mom is getting soften on it, keep move on and talk with the tv guy."

Therefore, I did make an appointment for today with NOW-tv. My mom, the tv guy and I had a breakfast together to talk about the background and progress. During the conversation my mom is not as stressful as I expected, she can talk and reply nicely to the tv guy without showing any hesitation. She had a lot of information inside her head but not willing to show everyone, unless someone request for her then she will explain everything nicely and honestly. Therefore, the tv guy asked something about her background, there is always has some stories behide even I'd never heard before.

There was a question about how make a chinese traditional salty-steam duck, she said that was all about her dad, my grandfather. He had his own recipe by putting little bit burned liquid sugar slab on the mixture so that would be a special taste on it. But due to the long infection from dad's side culture, she had never tried it again in here, just because this conversation brought her this memory. I think the tv guy was not just a promotor but also a good social worker, she was get used to control the touching mood and lead a person to think in a right way because after that my mom talked more about how her dad taught her the cooking idea and especially guided her why we have to do like this and why we can't. It linked a lot of emotional credits to break the rational not reasonable stubborn.

There is another question about are there any important challeges she did already overcome. At the beginning she said she had no any idea but at the end she thought the first day to work in Lufthansa was the most challeging to her. At the moment I was get shock as well because I understand start working in a new environment is hard but never be the most challeging task. But it really did for her. What she mentioned that at the first few months in Lufthansa she had never eat with colleagues but only just ate outside alone because she was afraid to stay with strangers and didn't know what to do with them. For a 40 something years old low education and without working experience woman, everything was just about family, all the people beside her were just about strangers. Working was just about money to support her family. Colleagues were just about tasks distribution to support her work. At that moment, I felt very pity to her because as if she is just a machine for life. But I think this is also a good chance to bring this problem out and finally she can face her own mental problem.

After the conversation, no matter it really works or not, I think this is really good for us to re-develop our mind and break our mental problems. Keep moving on!

I name this post as "first" because I believe it must have the "second".

All the blesses

All the blesses to Mo, and hope all the best for us.

A struggling period

Running away from the cage is not an easy task. Last night just watched a documentary about trying to rescue some special species of frog due to the certain area has been contaminated by virus. So those specialists try to feed them and protect them in some boxes. When the new generation is being grown up and the immune system is strong enough, then those specialists will put these frogs back into their normal environment. From the day they back home, that's not saying that they are safe, because virus is still around and won't be 100% killed. The reason why those specialists put them back is they dont want to empty a certain part of food chain for a long time, and also they believe that some frog may create new antibody to fight with virus for survival.

Those frogs has no choice to stay wherever they want to stay, but one day, if they have the right to choose their way, are they like to go back or just stay in those F transparent boxes for their whole life?