Last day before 2011

Actually I have to say thank you to her because she is really a good audience. Not many people can stand for my murmur every single day. I admit that this is not a good practice when we start to build the relationship, it made the atmosphere so dead all the time. I understand that I am not a romantic person, I don't know any popular music, I don't know any news, and I don't know where we were when we were on the street. But no matter so stupid I am, she is still telling me in patient one by one, it makes me really warm and safe, this is what I am always looking for.

I understand that I am a picky person, or I should say I have expectation for my life. No matter how many times I challenge her decision, she is always on my side and adapt on my picky decision. I really want to make things perfect, I always don't think I am as general as other people, I always believe that I am different with other people. When I was around 10 year old, I already had an idea like “True man show”. People is not living around the world, people only live around where I stay. They are here just because they have to take response on my action, when I am not here people is probably just working on another things. Of course this is not true, this is just my childhood dream. But no matter what I did, I always want to be the best. Even though I failed on this time and can't be the best, I still think that this is just a challenge from God to make me work harder for the next time. This is the reason why I am so picky I really hope that one day she will understand.

Today is the last day of 2010, if God is really there, I really want to say thank you to her because God let me meet Lau-Kit-Yan, Cathy in this cruel world. I am a person who is not easy to make friend with girl, that's mean I don't really have chance to speak with girl. I am a protective person, when I look into a person I always start from the dark side. Therefore, I am not easy to trust a person. But once I meet her, I feel really safe to share everything to her. There is nothing to hide, everything we can say to each other (but how much she can really understand is another thing :-#). I really enjoy the time with her, I hope that we can have a more brilliant future in 2011.

2 days before 2011

So after the first meet I had no feeling at all, everything was normal to me, kept reading books and cursing the world as usual. My friend even asked me, “don't you feel boring in your life?”, I said, “No, thanks.” But end up I was being convinced and dated her for few couple times. Because I was still working in F China, “few couple times” was already a few couple weeks. It took a long time to know each other. The longer I met her, the more difficult to stay with her, because I can't stand for a person living without a correct expectation and only enjoy their own world to do what they want to do. The Garden of Eden is only happened when you are Lee-ka-Shing. Once you realized that you are not his son, then you have to grab a weapon to fight.

No doubt that we had argued in the meantime. Most of the time I was keep criticizing her habit and decision when we were hanging out, I had never showed any respect, patience and gentleman to her at the very beginning. I knew that she must be very unhappy and disappointed; this was totally not what supposed to be between boyfriend and girlfriend. I totally understand even that this moment, “I want you hate me forever rather than I regret I didn't tell you something you did wrong”.

I think there were more than 10 times we did argue about the same topic over mid night, and also I was thinking about to stop this relationship because of this problem. But don't know why every time we had argued we still can forget the unhappiness from yesterday and come out on the next day. I believe both of us really want to continue this relationship and both of us are trying the best to change to adapt for the other. If you ask me why we are still being together, my answer is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. We both insist the right to take care and protect this babe relationship.

3 days before 2011

Really long time didn't update my F blog. I didn't update not because there is no interesting things passing by my life, on the contrary, there are too many meaningful things happened into my life during these 3 months. Yes, my life is not F anymore. Right now is B life B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L life. Yes, I made a decision to date with Lau-Kit-Yan, Cathy, to taste what Love really tastes.

She is not a really attractive girl, but from the first meet I was being magnetized by her eyes. I admitted that girls' eyes are the most important thing to me to decide whether or not I should continue my conversation (the second is smile). Anyways, we did talk but not much. She was not polite and quiet at that time because she was not looking to me during conversation. Most of the time was facing my friend to answer my questions. Every time was only a short reply without any adjective or additional information beside questions and answers.

It doesn't really matter because I was not really expected anything from there. Know one more female friend to me just as simple as adding one more friend on my Facebook friend list. I am not saying I have too many female friends on my list, on the other hand, a girl in my life is not important anymore. I am tired to play hide-and-seek. I am tired to guess what girl wants. I only trust the truth. If she is the one I can sense it from every tiny action. It won't tell anything from her boobs or a single eye flirting (but of cos it's still telling some other things :-#).

+Just a joke+

有一自稱前輩的從來口無遮攔，但常被人駁倒，每次被駁倒之后，他總氣急敗壞地說：“我詛咒你娶的老婆不是處女！” 這招還真靈，大家都拿他沒辦法。　這天，他又故技重施，還變本加厲地罵道：“我詛咒你們所有人娶的老婆都不是處女！”平日少言寡語的老王這時來一句：“我們也真誠地祝福你老婆永遠都是處女……”

Grasshopper concert

Mouse haven't seen any concert for a long time, probably more than 8 years, may be more...

It is kind of exciting at the beginning because the decoration is fantastic, gears and musical instruments are so huge, all look so professional.

When we found the seat and looked around the Coliseum, people are look like ants. A big fancy star-shape stage in front of us, there is a long and smooth red curtain hanging on top and reflecting a number of 25. It means the team "Grasshopper" already stayed with us for 25 years.

Once the show started, the long red curtain fall down, more than 30 pieces disco shining mirror ball showed in front of us, some are huge and some are small hanging on the ceiling and top of the stage. It demonstrated cold and cool feeling to us, like a crystal from the pole.

The music was coming right after the beautiful scene. A lot of old songs ran into my ears one after another, all of people were suddenly possessed hitting the stick according to the melody and sang together with the team. It turned out the atmosphere were so nice.

After 3 hours stunning songs, my brain was also got stunning. Although these songs are all good and reminding me a lot of memories, but the volume was large, it gave my peaceful mind never being peaceful again, out-dated uncle wrong couldn't sleep well at that night. :-#

iPhone

How a rural people step into the city, the first step is using iPhone.

At the beginning I request my mom to order iPhone4 because it can trade a good price in China. But yesterday I suddenly feel like I am a geek, completed Engineer Bachelor Degree and working as a Engineer but never keep in touch with technology. I have never played with iPhone, iPad, iPod, iTouch, I have no idea how to download updated music from internet, I have no idea how to use Google Map by mobile phone, I can contact any night time taxi in emergency.

So yesterday I talked with my mom, "Instead of selling the iPhone4 from China, I better use it now to catch up with the world.""EXACTLY. You are such a uncle-style man. You know nothing about the world. Even my old colleagues know how the technical trend changing..."My mom replied loudly and immediately.

Big stun and change, this is my style.

This is what I want to say here. Apple really did a great job on promotion, especially in HongKong. People are so addicted on Apple products, they are not simply buy it to show off, they also spend very long time to learn those features and functions and treat it as a treasure. On marketing strategy, Apple not just earn enormous money but they do a unbreakable "inception" on every human being head. Once people accept that you are one of the member from the family, they will try whatever they can to protect you and give the best to you. They will offer you the best security, education, entertainment and clothing to make you feel happy. Just like people will buy different cases and accessories to decorate their iPhone babe. This is what I haven't seen for a long time nowaday business from the begin with nothing until successfully take captive people during this quick society. Amazing! This is really a stunning story for me to learn because I am also being one of them.

Magician 2

Interesting. Magic class always can give me surprise.

Just two hands and a stack of card can have a lot of surprise.

The show is always fun, but there is a technique, "magician choice", makes me feel stunning. It is different with "misdirection", it is about no matter what the audience chooses, it's also the "magician choice" or I should say people will just follow "magician choice" and nobody alert that they are mislead.

This is really a good course to develop our brain, I think I am going to apply for advance course shortly.

This is life

Hi Mandy, Michelle,

What you are talking is about PP and MP stage. R&D will release official BOM for PMC to monitor the materials status.

As I know that PMC is not responsible to monitor the materials status in ES and EP stage, so R&D have to take the responsibility to take care all these un-confirmed items. Before create a BOM, we have a E-BOM as a transition buffer for ES and EP stage to make sure all these items are qualified then put into official BOM. This is our general practice.

Right now the situation is Customer provides a very short developing period for us, it is hard for you to monitor the status because there is no BOM, it is also hard for us to convince ourselves to qualify all the items without testing. According to our experience, it must be a lot of changes during ES and EP stage (otherwise we don't need different stages),but nobody will care the internal process time how long to revise a single item but just keep pushing R&D to fulfill customer's request. Therefore, in order to minimum the risk for wasting manpower and time, we have to have analysis first, that's mean ES and EP, then release official BOM.

OK, solution.

Customer confirmed 90% materials are fixed especially PCB at this moment (ZERO change), then we will release FO BOM.
MKT input item by item due to customer wants to buy first but also don't want to approve the item, risk is too high for R&D.
R&D release FO BOM now, but MKT and customer and top management have to understand that EP and PP must be delay from now on if there are any changes. We really need time to process the huge workload if there are any changes, we are not magician.

Disneyland

Be honest, I am kind of reject about Disneyland because I hate them doing products "embedded" since children grow up, people will love their products and side-products gradually. But no choice, this is principle from this nature, we can't avoid it.

But be honest, Disneyland really did a great job in "embedded". It is so hard to control my mind to stop enjoying the games, the shows and the creatures over there. They are all so cute.

I have a lot of fun over there, I see the world is more joyful and peaceful, may be one day Nega will be defeated.

MC Sing

This was the first time in my life to be a MC. Super hard for me to control the circumstance or I should say super hard for me to control myself to adapt the circumstance.

What I am believing is, "no pain no gain". I am not enjoyed to face challenge but I understand this must be part of my life which I cannot escape.

Keep moving on.

Really productive and tried week

Too much work to do, very tired...but at the same time I feel very happy on work. I had a very nice conversation with a customer on last Friday night.

What he said to me was, "So far in AML, he found that there is only 2 persons can really understand what he wants to say and reply correct to him, one is Wayne Chan (around 3x years old) and the other one is U".

Really sweet and thank you. It gives me a lot of energy.

Work after boat trip

Monday again. After last week experience had a big suffer from the biggest boss, I still dare to stay in Hong Kong office today until 6pm. Not because I have a brave heart, because I have sufficient prove to stay in Hong Kong. I have meeting with customer at 3pm. :-#

I had a big fun boat trip yesterday. We had so much worry about the weather in the morning because it was a heavy rain at around 8am, but after we arrived the dock, we can see blue sky and white cloud and we can also feel the hot from the sun and bikini girls. What a amazing day. This time I did try all the sea activities, banana boat and wake board. Really hard to control but if you dare to control, it is welcome for you to control. I did drink a lot of sea water but it is really fun.

It is not easy for me to wake up today at 7:30am, even although I slept at 10:30pm last night. My face and shoulder are being burned, start getting pain now. But I know that no pain no gain. I gain a lot of health now.

++Just a joke++

有個細路女成日向另一個細路仔晒佢有D乜有D物，個男仔有日終於忍無可忍，除左條褲，指住何B仔話﹕ 「哩樣野你冇﹗﹗」個女仔又除低條褲，指住下面話﹕ 「我媽咪話，我有哩個，你果個我想要幾多就有幾多﹗﹗」

To work or not to work

Once you back to be mouse, your life is become binary, "To work or not to work". To work on Monday to Saturday, not to work on Sunday. To educate yourselves for brilliant life or not educate yourselves for busy life. To do more excerises for healthy life or not to do more excerises for messy life. To face challeging for upper level vision or not to face challeging for narrow unsafe situation...

Something I really want to tell all of my best friends or some important person, but if I am telling to much it is kind of challeging their current justification and relationship. And the more important thing is I don't want to have just a one direction learning process. Learning process is about personal creativity and development, it is better to ask more instead of waiting for asking.

I really hate people always over enjoy their situation at the moment, at the same time I don't want to be the person to creat problems for them as if I am the only devil in the world, but actually there is so many devils around covered by angel face who they have not enough capability to get notice. What a dilemma situation.

Peaceful Saturday

For some reason, I can sneak back to Hong Kong office on Saturday. Mice in Hong Kong office always have a shift for every Saturday, they can just work one day for every two Saturday. But China mice is different, they have to work EVERY Saturday.

Today is suppose day off for Hong Kong mice, so nobody is there, just around 3~4ppl may be just for practising their "drama skill". Whatever the condition for other people is, it is still creating a peaceful and new environment for China mouse to take a break.

Hmm, feeling tired on last week. Don't know why, may be just becuase customer is here I have to serve him around, but the root cause I guess is my health is not as energetic as before. I have to find a way back to normal. I still have a long way to go in my F life.

Happy Monday

After a weekend, I suppose I will have a whole bunch of emails waiting for me but after clicking send/receive there is 0 email in the morning. That's mean I will have a peaceful week, everything is fine, everything is on schedule and no "wok" coming up.

Some colleagues is trying to organize a "boat trip" for internal activity. Due to our company is too big and many divisions we have never talked with, so I joined them to promote the activity.

After 1 hour "insurance-like" promotion, the project is cancelled because not much people are interested on it. But I am kind of enjoyed this negotiation time because it gives me a chance to be a sales to promote what we want to promote. It makes my brain has a new vision on some area.

Hope there will be another chance to play soon. Nice game.

Sat work in HK office

Among the long fight in China office, luckily I can have a chance to sneak away from hell and work in Hong Kong office on saturday. What a peaceful world here.

People are working smart in here. So many papers around their desks and very focusing on the monitor, it seems they are so concentrate on work. And the good part here is they will talk to each other a little bit with joke to creat a warm working environment. Entertain themselves and also train how to improve the skill to enterain other people. Which comparing with my previous co., the colleagues in here seems more energetic and socialized and bigger vision than the old co. colleagues. My old co. colleagues were just working like a zombies, eating the resources from co. and waiting for time move away.

High class people always makes a high standard choice. I am not saying I am a high class people because this is still not what I expected to have. But from walking up on a ladder, I am happy to move away from my lower step, see the higher step and move toward.

Magician 1

Yesterday just started my first Magic class. My first intention to learn Magic is about to play with my Thai cousin. We both have broken language right now, I am not fluent in Thai and he is not fluent in English as well, so I am afraid we can't keep a good relationship due to our bad communication. But I think body language with joy is an international language for everyone. It can always leave a good image for people, so my Good Gor image can last longer.

After the course finished, although he just taught one single dummy stupid magic show for us, I think it is quite useful. Useful is not about the show, it is about his speech behide the show. The theme is about "Misdirection" and "Imagination". No matter how simply the show is, if you can magnify the power of Misdirection and Imagination, you still can have a good show.

This vision is really useful not only in Magic but also for everything in life. I am not quite clear on it but I feel it has a great potention to develop.

育成Game 1

I am excited to start playing my coaching game, because I believe I can be a great coach.

To be more precise, this is not a game actually, this is about last week I was a interviewer (the first time) to interview a assistant who will be directly report to me and up to last saturday the company finally approved and signed all the documentations. She will suppose to be factory today and waiting for my order.

I am enjoy to be a coach. What coach means is we have to magnify their vision and feed up their data base as much as we can base on the company or my expectation and mental balance. We will get mad if we work too hard, at the same time, we will be dump if we don't study. People will be appreciated and effective to work with you when he/she are free, people will be angry and work in mess with you when he/she are overloaded. These are all the techniques she has to know to not only survive in here but also upgrade herself to become a good assistant with me.

Every relationship will have a smooth growth if the foundation is starting from a peace environment. So what I want her to do withinthis 2 weeks are;

1. Building up her network with our department colleauges when we are not confronting diffculties and problems.
2. Try to understand herself what is her strongpoints and weaknesses.
3. Pros and cons happens everytime everywhere, try to prove herself no matter what her boss say.
4. Understand the trend between the workload and emotion and effectiveness.

This is just the beginning, welcome to the real world.

Life explorer

Last weekend went to Books fair with friends, crowded as usual. I am curious that Hong Kong people is that really reading addicted, why so many people enjoyed to squeeze around between exhibitor's booth. It is really time comsuming and annoying, because we don't really have much space to stand there and into what we really like at that time, we were just following the float to keep moving.

If we don't really have a target to search what we want to buy, I doubt that people can't really buy one. It is just like we are sitting on the bus and have a round trip around Hong Kong, something you may enjoy it but you don't have time to understand it then leave. So it can't impress you to really take money from your pocket and buy it. They totally got no chance.

End up I bought 3 books, about Autobiography and Mental study. I love mental study because I think this is the topic I have to deal with whole of my life. And also autobiography, I love it because it is what a successful man really did, no kidding no boiling. Not like some teaching books are just floating some many ideal theories don't really know right or wrong.

I guess I have to spend at least half year or more to finished it. This is the fastest I can do. But overall I found that so many Hong Kong people generally bought 4~5 books or more than 10 per person. I am just curious how they can read so many books? Or they just read it as a comic book without thinking? Are they really that knowledgable? If a person go karaoke and bars everyday, how they manage their time to read books? Is my brain not really efficient compare with others?

Life explorer.

Instinct

I can't really find my instinct, or I am already controlled by my instinct right now???

Shit...

No motivation

I am over rational or something, I feel myself kind of reluctant on building up new relationship with other people. I am afraid or degenerate or lack of experience to face this problem.

One of my friend was also alert this problem and discussed with me seriously. What we found out is I am over projected my own life running as part of my job duty. I need too support to move every step. Unfortunately human relationship can't be liked this especially love relationship. Somehow we can't just ideally know each other in a open situation and building it up day by day, it only happened in our school life. If you can't get anything from there, it's gone, there is no second chance for you to seak for puppy love. In the reality if you want to meet a new girl, you have to act smart and aggressive to show off what you have, no doubt that they won't be gentle on you, if the girl doesn't like you, she will just run away like a stranger.

Life is cruel, if you miss the ticket to go to Heaven, you have to try your best to struggle in hell. No F choice.

The 2nd time for 3rd place

Blind fans are confident that Germany will win the game so both of us didn't watch it :-#

But once they woke up in the morning and watched the news, we both surprise at the 3:2 result. Luckily Germany is the 3.

It should be a very tough game, everyone fight to the end. If somewhere has the replay I really want to watch it.

No doubt that Thomas Mueller will be the next star in Germany, no.13 really is a lucky number for him after Michael Ballack got injury. Beside Philipp Lahm, he would be the next one I love in Germany team. A very high potential star!

Good work team!

The feeling of WIN

Germany always has been ranked as a soso team, no people look good on them, no stars, no good looking face and also no outstanding record on every player. But once they team up and represent for their own country, they always play different. The Charm is not coming from the player, the charm is coming from their bond. They can spread the power when they group together, this is how "Teamwork" called and this is also what Teutonism keeps.

Win is not an easy task, but acceptance of being lose is much more harder. Argentina is also a great team. They are a fighter. They don't obviously have some dirty tricks on the game like Netherlands (at least not much fouls and cards on the game). They played hard with sport respect. This is a honor.

I am curious why Germany always has a tough path on Worldcup. After fought with England, then Argentina, then right now is going to have Spain. Beside about luck I would like to say they just be honest to their favourite sport. In the strategy point of view, if they are the second in Group D, obviously their competitors would be easier to fight. But they choose for the tough way the only reason is repected to their lovely soccer, to show the best to their people.

No matter it is, blind fans will always on the back and support because they still have buffer :-#

(This is what winner can say :-#)

Müller ist meinen Held!!!

I suppose to download some fresh photos from web site about the great match against England, unfortunately my pc is too slow here. Anyways, that is still fine to me because 4:1 can say any bullshit...

Deutschland ist der Weltmeister!

快樂...是快的...

Yesterday I watched a TV show about "Chinese Kung Fu". This is about how Chinese Kung Fu influences in world wide. In the day all people is just talking about the money growth, we almost forgot what we have and what we should have from our long-way civilization. China is in a critical period for economic, all people is just looking at her. But I think they really focus too deep on it but forgot the balance of natural spirit.

The show is about a Hong Kong people who born in US, he is very addicted on Chinese. He did learn some free fight and Thai boxing before, but he believed that Chinese Kung Fu is still the root of any Kung Fu branches. In China, we have a saying about, "All the Kung Fu technical are coming from Shao Lin", therefore, he came to China and seak for "Shao Lin Temple".

From a long searching period, he finally found one. From the show, how those Kung Fu masters talking about their particular skill are very clear. They are not just talking about maximize physical but how Kung Fu influences our spirit of balance and spirit drives our body and movement in a good way. They admitted that life is tough, a true happiness is just always in a short period. Therefore we have to embrace the truth, no matter good or bad. Once we have a plan for any tragedy, we will not have to fear.

Coincidently, Joker also said, "If I already told you tomorrow will burst here, nobody will be panic, but if I tell you there is a guy will be kill in this city, but we don't know who, everyone will be crazy". I think this is the same theory but just around a bright said and dark said.

World Cup fever

Deutschland ist der Weltmeister!

I am a blind fans of Germany, not used to play soccer, not used to watch any football matches (but I am trying to), just because I did learn German and my mom is working in Lufthansa, so we are already a blind Germany follower.

The more understand Germany, the more good points you will learn from them. What I can tell is my attitude and/or characteristic is quite similar to them. I am saying I was affected by them but I think this is from the bottom of my gene which match with them coincidently. Therefore I am happy to cheer for them.

I still remember 4 years ago was the time I firstly contacted Germany culture, I was trying to learn German at that time, there was also a World Cup period organized by Germany. I was just a newbie about soccer, but there was a little boy called Philipp Lahm (No.16) who captured my eyes. He was the only player I liked in the Team (I like him more than Michael Ballack), I was so impress about his move, insight and the balance between ambition and patient. I believe he can be a star later, and here we go! He is the leader for Germany team in 2010 World Cup!

Actually I have no any background to support my decision, but I think (and hope) Germany can be the champion!

F China no blog

1.5 days every week in Hong Kong is a treasure for me, I have to well use of my time over there. Therefore I really do not have time and intention to write my blog in Hong Kong because every single mintue I have to put on action to do whatever I want to do but no thinking.

I believe every Monday morning in Hong Kong office is the only day for me to write blog, because F china block everything they don't like to see. Blogger is one of the channel for mice to spreading their feeling including positive and negative, so this is also one of the point they don't like it.

Anyways, work hard, play hard. I believe I am not just like that!

Birthday present

After a long wait for thai birthday present, finally got it today. It looks really good, really can capture the spirit of two brilliant brothers.

Brilliant is not only spreading out from here, my uncle is approaching to his goal too, starting to have his phD path. The good thing is he can "get pay and learn without work". It is the greatest thing in the world.

Every chicken is moving forward to their dream, hope we can cross over all the obstacles and reach the destination.

29 Years old now...

Time flies, can't believe I am 29 years old now...still thinking I am just acting like a little kid...

Sometime we should, and must be, take a break to taste and learn what we have done in our pervious time but unfortunately we really have no time to do it due to some non-stopable works and duties around us...what a bad contradition!

Anyways, I will try my best to squeeze out some personal time to record down my doing, not only for documentation and also this is kind of a piece of puzzle for us to recognize our whole life.

Life in battle

Time flies, something I am eager to do but I can't, something I am not intent to do but it really happened...

Everything just like a dream, can't believe I am back into cage and equip myself to run, but that is real...

Whatever will be, will be...

I am started reading a book from Jack Welch, the previous general manager in GE. I hope I can get some tips from him how to be big and act big. Here is a quote from his book,

"Business is a game, and winning that game is a total blast."

I can totally imagine that the path being big is not just sitting in the office and drink a cup of coffee, it is about a long fight with juggling to find a moment of peace.

New life in new Co. office

Today is the 4th day working in this new co. The atmosphere is quite good. Although not many people are in aggressive working mode, but along my team espcially people on top of me keep spreading the positive learning and working attitude to everyone. It makes me feel that I can gain extra in here except money which is much more important for my career path.

During these 2 weeks I am still in the training period about all the project management technique and software, therefore I am 100% peaceful now, but I understand this is just the time before thunderstorm, I need to highly equip myself waiting for the storm coming.

The day before transform

I am not smart enough to being a human, I can only do what I always do...

Anyways, this is my fate, I accept it, but I will try my best to magnify the possibility within my profession. I will try my best to be the top even just in a little dark well.

++Just a joke++

These are what negative people always think:

就算是Believe中間還是有個lie。
就算是Friend最後還是會有個end。
就算是Lover最後還是會over。
就算是Forget也要先get才行。
就算有個Wife心裏也要假設if。

Independence day

After a long fight for jumping out from the cage, I feel so shame that I still can't break the cage, I still can't be a phoenix to suffer the dead first and then reborn. I am still who I am...the chicken...

Some people said, when you have a cup of cold water which is half full and right now you need a hot one. If you only pour the hot water into it, you can only have a cup of warm water, unless you throw away all the cold water from your cup...this is what I still can't do it...

May be I am still not a good leader to make decision from the peak. May be I am still have low EQ to control my emotion. May be I am still not hard working enough to overcome all the obstacles. Yes, too many may be, may be I think too much, I am not deserved that much...

Anyways, what I chose is what I have to deserve. I honor to have this experience even though I am not success. I am going to take a rest first and keep establish my grand life from other side. I will be back in the future...

In-depressing day

Today is the most depressing day, seems all the dreams are just floating around me but cannot be touched. I don't know what is wrong inside myself, I am totally lost... Too many nervous, negative, calculation, comparison on my every single move.

Sometimes I just want to ask for opinion from other people, what they are talking about just like an agent, just keep saying pros and cons end up with the most safe solution, "Let try to learn this first before you move on..."

MAN! 29 year old no income, no business, no house, no gf people can't do shit anymore. I feel so lonely, not just about gf relationship, seems really no one really understand me or wanna solve the problem together with me. Family creates a lot of obstacles to me, as if everything is not worth to try, this is totally the same case why my dad had no society experience at all because no one allow him to take risk and no one dare to take the risk from him. No doubt that he has no hobbies, no interest, no fds, no experience now, because the people just keep saying, "don't go out, don't even think that you can handle this job." So he can't definitely handle his life now.

This is what you did to him and don't try to sympathize him now because this is what you want him to be...

Construction everywhere

It just likes a alarm clock to me, start making noise from 8am to 6:30pm everyday non-stop...really feel frustrated...

重讀王維基

I always think that people do not have to read too much books unless they are already well used of their knowledge. Sometime too broad and too many different evidances in our mind doesn't mean good for our uniquity and creativity. I can say that I am not a good reader, only around 20~30pcs books in my room. These are autobiographies, fictions, psychologies, comics, casual talk about some success man. Everytime when I was finished a book I also asked myself immediately what information left in my mind, I don't know is it about I am too stupid or those information are going too deep, I can't always fit it out immediately.

These days I was too free about our over dreamed career path, I did re-read a book our Ricky Wong.

It is always ture that if you are not smart enough and lost your direction suddenly, just try to follow a great people's path you think he/she is great. Try to set our expectation higher but not the highest, then you will restore the enthusiasm to move on.

There is one chapter just totally reflecting my situation right now. He points out that there are 3 points about how we establish a new business. 1st how we sense and capture the need from the world, 2nd how we solve the problem efficiently and the 3rd do we mind to sacrifice our "present belonging". I heard too many people bullshit around saying that this business can make money, that business is easy. When we are narrowing down the problem from idea to actual operation, people just like to step back and being the commander. Most of the problem is people do not like to sacrifice they "present belonging", the comfortable life style. They believe their brain can replace the workload of their feet and hands. Of course, I am still one of these people...

商機處處, 但你心在何處...

Do you have a shark inside?

New day new life

Today is the first day I am being a tutor. Feeling is not bad, the atomsphere is excellent!

Compare with running a project in factory, allocating those F lazy chinese mice, I think this is just a piece of cake. People sometime said that children is hard to control when they are starting to out of control, but I would like to say that a kind-of-blank paper is still much easiler to clean up compare with messy chinese paper with dirty stinky little S on top.

It is a big step for me to open my own tutorial center. I hope my spy-life will get success soon...

Being a tutor

We are not like other type of animals easy to get reborn. Lizard can easily get a new tail while it being cut, cockroach can also grow a new leg when having exuviate. Human, it claims that the most intelligent animal in the world but always stubborn on what they always do.

Tomorrow is the first day to be a tutor in my life. I hope I can get something new there and get reborn my life.

命裡有時終須有, 命裡無時莫強求

Let have a bet within these 60 days...whatever it is, it is...

Hot blood

I did bury the spirit of "hot blood" for a very long time. When people is growing up, more and more external and subjective problems are coming up to annoy our motivation. We can't just simply do whatever we believe is right. No matter our finally decision is right or wrong, all these obstacles are definitely slow down our process.

If you really ask me when do I have the peak motivation, I will say when I was in 20 21 year old, during my year 1 and 2 University life. During that period, I feel the world is so innocent without harm, my intelligent seems on top of society as if I have confident to handle any kind of problems. Therefore, my spirit is always "hot blood".

The japanese comic "Slamdunk" is always my favor even right now. The leading actor is a very "hot blood" people. During a match his team is playing with a very strong team, after he shots and gets 2 points, it is already leading the game and only 1 second left, but he still keep running back and shout, "Defence! Sin Dol is coming!!" My eyes always full of tears after I read this part. How he devotes to the game, how he balances his emotion, how he concentrates on his role is always made me shame...

I know I can't be ideal, but I want my heart back, I just want my own "hot blood" back.

Deadline

May be staying inside a cage and being a mouse for too long, I get used to survive within a boundary. Although I feel that I did try my best to get transformed, my heart still not feel comfortable during this period.

I understand that the main reason is about no more water pumping toward my back, I need to survive by myself totally. No matter how brilliant of my dream is, human cannot survive without oxygen. I need to set a timer for my project schedule...

Everyone please bless for me during this period...

Japanese episode addicted

It is a very long time that I have never been so addicted on Japanese episode, but it triggers me to keep watching it every sunday and finally I can't wait to download the last chapter. It is called "求婚大作戰".

The theme is about a boy who loved a girl for a very long time but never had a brave heart to tell her. One day the girl is going to marry another man, the boy is being also invited to join the ceremony. He is so regretted about why he never tell her how he loves her. Suddenly an elf stand in front of him and tell him that he has a second chance to go to the past and do what he wants to do to change the future. Because he is kind of a passive person, every time he went back to the past he still can't present his ture heart to the girl. But the more he went back, the more he did change the future and also his lazy attitude. And finally he do learn that he have to treasure the time right now but not just rely on any magic to change what he did wrong in the past. Once he clear up his mind and the happy ending is of course coming afterward.

I love it so much not just because the main actress looks so puppy love for me but also this is also the same dream to me to correct what I have done wrong in my past. I also think that, "if I have the second chance, I must do it better". But the question is, if I really have a second chance, Can I really do it better? I can see that from the episode, there is almost 10 chances for the boy to go back but he has never been success because his attitude is still the same. The only time he did success because he understand the word of "aggressive".

How to understand our past and work hard right now is the most important attitude for us to move on.

Cooking mama 3

28th March, 2010 was the most amazing, interesting, exciting and tired day for me and especially for my mom because it was the day to film "Cooking mama".

When everyone was not woke up but my mom already woke up at around 5am to prepare all the foods and sauces. I know that she was very stressful about the program, she woke up so early because of her responsible attitude but also she couldn't sleep very well. Every time when I think about it, I always feel sorry to her because it seems we keep pushing her to do something she really doesn't like to do, but at that time I knew that we must move on, there was no return path, we can only try our best to have a "good show".

At about 10am, we had our first shot in Wan Chai market. Acutally not "we" because this part was just focusing on my mom and auntie, I had nothing to do actually. After introducing the MC to us then they had to act already. I saw my mom had a big breath and serious face every time when the camera was not recording, but after the director taught her how to do she could immediately follow with non-stop information. I was quite sure that she was still frighten inside because we are in the same family tree, we both can't get used to some new situation. But what made her so confident in front of the camera this time I think is about she really well-known on any kind of foods, she has sooo many information deep inside her mind for back up. When someone asked her about it she just explained to everyone as a machine-gun. It reminds me that the iceberg theory, you never know how big of the iceberg underneath the water level.

At about 12am, we back home and started taking another shot immediately. Because totally we had 5 dishes to film and every dish needs certain step to explain, time was always to big concern for us. The show must be completed before 9pm or earlier definitely, because we told my dad that my auntie's colleagues will come over to our house for party and he had to leave home from 9am to 9pm. This is actually a lie and we don't want to have another lie to break the promise, therefore we must finish it at 9pm. At the beginning was fine, my mom, my auntie and I were acting nicely and confidently, but after 6pm we were so worried about the progress because there was still have 2 dishes to go and some individual intereviews to do with her colleagues. Suddenly my mom received a call from my dad asking when he can come back and after she said 9pm my dad was kind of complaining about it. At that time, her face was changed. There was no more nervous on her face but only cold-iron face and turbo engine inside just wanted to make it done as soon as possible. After talking with the director and supervisior, we did speed it up and completed it at 850pm, with 10mins earlier. And my dad luckily back to home at 925pm, therefore everything still in perfect match.

Everthing was come fast, left fast like a storm. I didn't really have any happiness after completed the show because we were all exhausted. We didn't really have extra energy to make my face up to have a smiling face, but I knew that all the unique, amazing, fantastic memories already keep inside our heart.

At the beginning I think this is just a easy game for us to play and learn, but right now I know that this is not a easy task, we had to contribute a lot on this show. Thank you so much to my mom's colleagues, they had to wait for 5 hours for dinner but actually can't really eat at all. Thank you so much to my auntie Mukda who come over from Thailand to support my mom. Thank you so much to my mom to show me that what is the real tough woman should be. Before I thought that this was a program to teach her how to release pressure, but I think the program teachs me more than she does.

鍥而舍之，朽木不折；鍥而不舍，金石可鏤。

Hope everything all right...

Cooking mama 2

During the month without income, I think I really learned a lot and thought a lot and re-constructed my mind a lot. I understood what I have to do now and trusted what I am believing. In the past I was very hesitated to make decision for myself, no matter how tiny it is. Therefore opinions from friends or relatives are really important to me, everything I need an evidence to support. Of course, this is the general theory for everyone to make an low risk decision. But, on the other hand, this is also the low profit decision. People has confident opinions because the idea is not common anymore. They have experience on the pros and cons, so they can advice to me objectively.

I always think that I am pretty smart to solve any problem around my life. Because I am a project engineer, I have to deal with them every single day. But the more I have seen, the more I feel I am still not the perfect one. I am over enjoyed to stay in my own world, I just knew that my own world is too small compare with the real world. There are still too many things I need to catch up in hurry.

It reminds me a saying, "If you do what you always do, you will get what you always get." It is so necessary at this moment in my situation. Because I can already feel the bottleneck in both of my life and career. If I am not going to change it, I can foresee it just can't be changed anymore in a decreasing slope. During these 4 years project engineer life I am not just being a money-slave, I think the most important I have learned is "planning". Eventhough I know that I am standing at a downward situation, I already planned what I need to do next. I won't let myself stand at a bad situation with empty resource. Therefore, this is the time to allocate my resource to do "what I am NOT always do".

Back to the starting point, I am always relied on people opinions or evidences to solve my problem. How to find my own opinion and evidence to support myself is another level. From the project of "cooking mama", my mom was very reluctant to do at the beginning but now she is intend to do, I think she is a really great model to show me that how to do "what I am NOT always do". There is no about profit and loss in our life actually, everything if we did try our best to do, everything is a profit. Of course before making decision we need to think carefully, but we have to classify what is subjective think and what is objective think. Subjective think can only slow down our gain, but objective think can always generate profit.

"Cooking mama" is just a milestone, model, theory whatever to me, how to develop our path still depend on how we make our own decision in the future.

Headache

Life is not easy to control or should I just follow the path from my life?

Headache as usual...

Cooking mama 1

From the first day I applied for NOW-tv until now, there is around 2 months. During these 2 months I didn't try too much to persuade my mom to work on it because I understand that my conversation skill must be banned. I tried to go another big round loop to hit her starting from her sisters and colleagues. At the beginning, she is super rejected. No matter what we were trying to say she also thought that we were forcing her to do something she didn't like to do. So most of her colleagues even myself had already given up on this project because didn't want her to suffer extra unnecessary pressure. But there is one person, her youngest sister, Mukda, she kept saying that, "Don't give up, when the time passing by, I feel your mom is getting soften on it, keep move on and talk with the tv guy."

Therefore, I did make an appointment for today with NOW-tv. My mom, the tv guy and I had a breakfast together to talk about the background and progress. During the conversation my mom is not as stressful as I expected, she can talk and reply nicely to the tv guy without showing any hesitation. She had a lot of information inside her head but not willing to show everyone, unless someone request for her then she will explain everything nicely and honestly. Therefore, the tv guy asked something about her background, there is always has some stories behide even I'd never heard before.

There was a question about how make a chinese traditional salty-steam duck, she said that was all about her dad, my grandfather. He had his own recipe by putting little bit burned liquid sugar slab on the mixture so that would be a special taste on it. But due to the long infection from dad's side culture, she had never tried it again in here, just because this conversation brought her this memory. I think the tv guy was not just a promotor but also a good social worker, she was get used to control the touching mood and lead a person to think in a right way because after that my mom talked more about how her dad taught her the cooking idea and especially guided her why we have to do like this and why we can't. It linked a lot of emotional credits to break the rational not reasonable stubborn.

There is another question about are there any important challeges she did already overcome. At the beginning she said she had no any idea but at the end she thought the first day to work in Lufthansa was the most challeging to her. At the moment I was get shock as well because I understand start working in a new environment is hard but never be the most challeging task. But it really did for her. What she mentioned that at the first few months in Lufthansa she had never eat with colleagues but only just ate outside alone because she was afraid to stay with strangers and didn't know what to do with them. For a 40 something years old low education and without working experience woman, everything was just about family, all the people beside her were just about strangers. Working was just about money to support her family. Colleagues were just about tasks distribution to support her work. At that moment, I felt very pity to her because as if she is just a machine for life. But I think this is also a good chance to bring this problem out and finally she can face her own mental problem.

After the conversation, no matter it really works or not, I think this is really good for us to re-develop our mind and break our mental problems. Keep moving on!

I name this post as "first" because I believe it must have the "second".

All the blesses

All the blesses to Mo, and hope all the best for us.

A struggling period

Running away from the cage is not an easy task. Last night just watched a documentary about trying to rescue some special species of frog due to the certain area has been contaminated by virus. So those specialists try to feed them and protect them in some boxes. When the new generation is being grown up and the immune system is strong enough, then those specialists will put these frogs back into their normal environment. From the day they back home, that's not saying that they are safe, because virus is still around and won't be 100% killed. The reason why those specialists put them back is they dont want to empty a certain part of food chain for a long time, and also they believe that some frog may create new antibody to fight with virus for survival.

Those frogs has no choice to stay wherever they want to stay, but one day, if they have the right to choose their way, are they like to go back or just stay in those F transparent boxes for their whole life?

CNY in Thailand

May be I am kind of stressful right now, every situation is just all-in-one. The world is a circle, whatever I did, wherever I went, whoever I met are also related to my future or I can say my goal. So I think this trip to Thailand is not just relaxing but try to look for some new, special or different opportunities, pretty much the same I stay in Hongkong, just some lost and gain adjustment.

I went to temple praying for my good future as usual, here is the funny thing, people like to take their cash in front of the fan for blowing, it simply means 風生水起 (Wind vitalizes, water or cash will pump up). Whatever it is, I think if people put their energy and patience on thinking how to improve themselve is much better than these. God bless us.

Frustrating

Time is a machine which never be stopped. I can't wait to move myself doing something but everything is still waiting.

Before in the factory seemed everything was going so slow, it is just because we worked so fast, a lot of tasks had been done within a certain period, that's why we felt satisfying on that certain period of time. Right now, when the progress are in waiting, no task seems being done within these period, that's why we feel frustrating on what we have not done.

Last day

Today is the last day in SUGA, just received 7 red pockets and had a very yummy dim sum lunch in restaurant as a new year first gathering. Actually I am going to leave this co. no more than 3 hours, but they still treated me as their staffs. Not bad.

Game is not over, just heading to have a new stage in life.

2010年生肖運勢-生肖屬雞

2010年生肖運勢-生肖屬雞 ，其年運行正財，生意興隆，財源茂盛，凡經營求謀，勢有過倍之利，時有小病小耗，並無大礙，時有小人忌之，此小破耗也。切忌柔可克剛。一生總運勢 　　酉年生人，其性誠實多智慧兼伶俐，能與人交際，望得貴人提拔，抱大志多計謀，終遂捷徑光明，且有帶快熱冷的心理，致自抱自棄的缺點，對自己不利的時多與計較，致見少利而生大財之嫌。 忠告：屬雞的人，遠方男性女性都容易受異性引誘，戀愛的次數相當多，而且每一次都會付出真情，自尊心高，討厭依賴別人，個性直率，所以並不是每種類型的人都合適你，因此在選擇伴侶時，一定要三思而後行。 特性：保守、熱心、漂亮、坦誠、幽默。 缺點：傲慢、自大、盲目崇拜。

◎ 1933 1993癸酉年生：【棲宿之雞】 （五行屬金）為人心直公平，一生口便舌能，有藏衣綠，平穩足用，六親冷淡，須事不中，為人平等，不貪不取，晚景旺相，女人助夫輿家立業之命。

◎ 1945 2005乙酉年生：【唱午之雞】 （五行屬水）為人口快心直，志氣軒昂，衣祿足用，福壽雙全，兄弟雖有，難為得力，六親和睦，女人與財綿遠，平穩之命。

◎ 1957 丁酉年生：【獨立之雞】 （五行屬火）為人好春風，多情重恩，利官近貴，初年勞碌，身閒心苦，晚景家道與隆，女人清秀命，半夫半財，老歲吉昌之格。

◎ 1909 1969己酉年生：【報曉之雞】 （五行屬土）為人心性聰明，衣祿有足，六親難靠，兒女早見，作事如意，百事皆通，凡事寬量心重為吉，女人計較多變，無災厄之命。

◎ 1921 1981辛酉年生：【籠藏之雞】 （五行屬本）為人一生伶俐，精神清爽，口能如便，高人敬重，財帛足用，六親冷淡，骨肉情疏，女人賢德，操持興家之命。

屬雞人士的2010年生肖運程 　　

1945、1957、1969、1981、1993、2005　　

整體運勢：肖雞人今年貴星高照，凶神不侵，能壓凶煞，保身安寧，萬事迪吉，出入近貴。但須防官事破家財，刑克六親，親友反目無情。

財 運

今年有貴人相幫，財運亨通，凡謀必利，投資、理財均大利，但親友反目無情，合作不宜。

增財運方法

在辦公室或房間放一盆植物或放風水輪。

感 情

肖雞女性今年桃花仍旺，有利於締結良緣，未婚者應把握每次 約會的機會！肖雞男性今年桃花 大利，感情生活甜蜜幸福， 有婚易成。

增愛情運方法

女性紅色有利，可佩帶菱形或角形的飾物。男性藍色有利，可佩帶長形的飾品。

事 業

肖雞人今年財源廣進，事業有更進一步的發展，宜積極進取，擴大規模。上班一族則應多加倍努力，自會有貴人提攜，事事稱心。

乙酉年： 注意身體健康，宜悉心照料。

丁酉年：財利大佳，名利雙收。

己酉年：小心破財，官非口舌，在所難免。

辛酉年：財利大佳，富創造力， 偏財易失。

癸酉年：學業大佳，名列前茅。

一月份：萬事如意，財運亨通，一帆風順。

二月份：財運仍利，樂極生悲，須防不測。

三月份：有貴人相幫，財利仍佳，凡 事需謹慎。

四月份：乘上月佳運，名利雙收。

五月份：精神壓力大， 防是非口舌。

六月份：凡事多阻，要有耐心。

七月份：財運不通，防財有失，小心借貸不還。

八月份：徒勞無功，事多阻礙，不如安守。

九月份：運有好轉，不可意氣用事。

十月份：財喜臨門，名利雙收，心想事成。

十一月：財源廣進，各事順遂。

十二月：運勢轉差，有小人，凡事小心。

屬雞的人：住宅凶方：坐東（辰山）向西方。住宅吉方：坐北向南方、坐西向東方。辦公桌吉方：乙酉生人：坐東南財神方。丁酉生人：坐正西財神方。己酉生人：坐正北財神方。辛酉生人：坐東南財神方。癸酉生人：坐正南財神方。

2010虎虎生财!

I hope that in Tiger Year, all of my family members, friends and I have a very great year, everyone do all the best together and work hard together.

I believe that there is no free lunch in this world, everything has to fight by ourselves. Let fight together!

Working in HK new office

Today is the last 6 days to work in this F co.. The most frequent feedback I have ever heard is, "oh, that is good, don't have to work so soon, let have a journey first."

Be honest, I don't have the feeling that I can relax because I just quitted the job. Working or not working for me just have the same attitude. Whatever I did is just work for life, everything is just a transition of life step.

Working as a project engineer is a really good chance for me to train my brain to work everything as a project, not just narrow our mind in one point or one department. Balancing and object-oriented are always the truth for us to learn forever. The biggest vision we have, the biggest life we will have.

朋友我當你一秒朋友

I think friends in my heart are belonging to a quite high position. I am not care about the short period of happiness we meet, I am care about what they choose for their life is suitable or not. I am not saying my decision is absolute right, I also want to take this chance to adjust my mind. Therefore I like to share my opinion with friends but I really hope that they can fully open their mind to share with me, so that we both can be improved.

Understand and accept our mistakes are very important in our life, especially in our developing age. We need to expand our mind set (in balance) as big as possible within this developing period, because I have thousands of evidences to prove that our brain activation can only decrease years by years, what we can do only keep pushing the balloon when it is going to fall down.

I hope friends can understand what I want to do and what we should have to do.

Thank you for P&S

Dear all my friend-colleagues,

May be not many people know that I am going to leave, but yes, my last day would be 17th Feb.

Because most of you guys are get ready for CNY and may leave earlier before the holiday, I would like to take this time to say thank you to all of you who did support me during these 2 years. We have shared both pro and con, but all with good experiences to me and hope that would be the same to you…

This is a hard decision for me to decide to leave P&S, it is because I already get used to the culture here and here is a part of my life. I enjoy working with you guys because we all understand what we have to do, I can really feel the sense of “team spirit” when I am working with you guys.

I hope some day in the future, we still can have chance to meet or work together. Here is my personal contact; please feel free to find me for anything (but not about P&S work!!).^^

Once again, thank you for everything.

See you around.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear all F colleagues,

Thank you very much for training me to know more about this cruel world. I suffer a lot but I understand a lot as well. I understand world won't be rotated along myself, but only I rotate along the world. We are too little to change the world, we have to do what we capable to do.

There is a lot of frustration and anger in the past, right now I just found that is all just about I didn't see though the whole situation and can't control my emotion, all of our action and reaction actually is just about care or not care, worth to do or not worth to do, nothing should be happy or angry at all.

I did think again as a third party should I quit this co.. The answer is YES. I still have to quit as soon as possible. One of the reason is I can't learn more in here, the problem is all just about the same keep repeating. I can't learn more from management point of view as well, because what they are doing is not using the power of management skill to control the situation but only just spending their time and effort to solve the problem by themselves one-by-one. What that mean is the more they growth, the more work they will suffer. I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be a millionaire without time to enjoy my life. Thirdly, this co. is over care about their money, I can forecast no matter how well of my performance, my salary increment won't be more than 10% within next 2 years, which is not even enough to overcome the inflation.

Therefore, I have to leave. I have to fight again. I believe that I am not just belonged to this tiny world.