Actually I have to say thank you to her because she is really a good audience. Not many people can stand for my murmur every single day. I admit that this is not a good practice when we start to build the relationship, it made the atmosphere so dead all the time. I understand that I am not a romantic person, I don't know any popular music, I don't know any news, and I don't know where we were when we were on the street. But no matter so stupid I am, she is still telling me in patient one by one, it makes me really warm and safe, this is what I am always looking for.
I understand that I am a picky person, or I should say I have expectation for my life. No matter how many times I challenge her decision, she is always on my side and adapt on my picky decision. I really want to make things perfect, I always don't think I am as general as other people, I always believe that I am different with other people. When I was around 10 year old, I already had an idea like “True man show”. People is not living around the world, people only live around where I stay. They are here just because they have to take response on my action, when I am not here people is probably just working on another things. Of course this is not true, this is just my childhood dream. But no matter what I did, I always want to be the best. Even though I failed on this time and can't be the best, I still think that this is just a challenge from God to make me work harder for the next time. This is the reason why I am so picky I really hope that one day she will understand.
Today is the last day of 2010, if God is really there, I really want to say thank you to her because God let me meet Lau-Kit-Yan, Cathy in this cruel world. I am a person who is not easy to make friend with girl, that's mean I don't really have chance to speak with girl. I am a protective person, when I look into a person I always start from the dark side. Therefore, I am not easy to trust a person. But once I meet her, I feel really safe to share everything to her. There is nothing to hide, everything we can say to each other (but how much she can really understand is another thing :-#). I really enjoy the time with her, I hope that we can have a more brilliant future in 2011.
So after the first meet I had no feeling at all, everything was normal to me, kept reading books and cursing the world as usual. My friend even asked me, “don't you feel boring in your life?”, I said, “No, thanks.” But end up I was being convinced and dated her for few couple times. Because I was still working in F China, “few couple times” was already a few couple weeks. It took a long time to know each other. The longer I met her, the more difficult to stay with her, because I can't stand for a person living without a correct expectation and only enjoy their own world to do what they want to do. The Garden of Eden is only happened when you are Lee-ka-Shing. Once you realized that you are not his son, then you have to grab a weapon to fight.
No doubt that we had argued in the meantime. Most of the time I was keep criticizing her habit and decision when we were hanging out, I had never showed any respect, patience and gentleman to her at the very beginning. I knew that she must be very unhappy and disappointed; this was totally not what supposed to be between boyfriend and girlfriend. I totally understand even that this moment, “I want you hate me forever rather than I regret I didn't tell you something you did wrong”. I think there were more than 10 times we did argue about the same topic over mid night, and also I was thinking about to stop this relationship because of this problem. But don't know why every time we had argued we still can forget the unhappiness from yesterday and come out on the next day. I believe both of us really want to continue this relationship and both of us are trying the best to change to adapt for the other. If you ask me why we are still being together, my answer is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. We both insist the right to take care and protect this babe relationship.
Really long time didn't update my F blog. I didn't update not because there is no interesting things passing by my life, on the contrary, there are too many meaningful things happened into my life during these 3 months. Yes, my life is not F anymore. Right now is B life B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L life. Yes, I made a decision to date with Lau-Kit-Yan, Cathy, to taste what Love really tastes.
She is not a really attractive girl, but from the first meet I was being magnetized by her eyes. I admitted that girls' eyes are the most important thing to me to decide whether or not I should continue my conversation (the second is smile). Anyways, we did talk but not much. She was not polite and quiet at that time because she was not looking to me during conversation. Most of the time was facing my friend to answer my questions. Every time was only a short reply without any adjective or additional information beside questions and answers.
It doesn't really matter because I was not really expected anything from there. Know one more female friend to me just as simple as adding one more friend on my Facebook friend list. I am not saying I have too many female friends on my list, on the other hand, a girl in my life is not important anymore. I am tired to play hide-and-seek. I am tired to guess what girl wants. I only trust the truth. If she is the one I can sense it from every tiny action. It won't tell anything from her boobs or a single eye flirting (but of cos it's still telling some other things :-#).
Actually I have to say thank you to her because she is really a good audience. Not many people can stand for my murmur every single day. I admit that this is not a good practice when we start to build the relationship, it made the atmosphere so dead all the time. I understand that I am not a romantic person, I don't know any popular music, I don't know any news, and I don't know where we were when we were on the street. But no matter so stupid I am, she is still telling me in patient one by one, it makes me really warm and safe, this is what I am always looking for.
